Live~NRGY

After being in Calgary exploring and discovering the city since May 30, I can finally say without a doubt that my consciousness has now expanded exponentially since being here. What I thought was just only directed at me exclusively, it seems that others who are in the moment but not conscious and aware and for lack of a better word or terminology – ignorant(not so much stupid), but rather have their heads stuck in the sand – again loosely said, face daunting odds of getting themselves out of a 6′ deep hole. And too boot the system caters to the need. I know that if there were better choices available that perhaps someone would speak up and point it out within the system. However, with non-disclosure and privacy laws in effect, mums the word for fear of reprisals. Everyone out and about having a job to do of serving those higher up. Afterall, who wants to risk losing their lives, jobs, family, friends, money and all sense of dignity and hope when opening one’s mouth risks it all just like gambling on long odds.

I have to believe that the system wasn’t intentionally setup that way, but came about as a solution to a crisis of immediacy in the moment, itself fearing the wrath of not trying for not knowing what to do without a book of instructions. Like all parents, fathers/mothers who know not what to do with children when there are no rule books or bibles with thou shall’s.

For myself, the moment translates into a combination of putting all the available elements together and coming up with any leftover possible variables that fit a scenario. For sure if that was a hard and fast rule, moments could be artificially synthesized over and over again. The endless unknown variable is time itself of the totality of all combined events day-in/day-out that adds to the dynamic. I believe that no current computer could with certainty precisely predict close to 100% what given future outcome is guaranteed to happen.

That is why in the last 7 years conscious choice was used to create habit leading up to today. Previous to then, subconscious habits were more the result of past memories).

Now as I have decided in the last 7 months to kick the habit of being habitual knowing that it is an impediment to moving forward with energy. You have to remember that all that I am now is the initial result of making sure that I remain incorrupted by lives daily exposure to temptation. It is okay to dabble here and there to get a sense of it all, yet deep inside knowing the difference and understanding the choices is what compels me to be who I am. What drives me most is definitely change. Yet it must be based on order as opposed to chaos as it serves no one and no purpose within the Bigger picture of the Universe. Everything above is reflected below as the sky is upon a clear body of water. The mirror is the medium and the mind is the component that understands the difference between which is which.

So with this said, tomorrow I am slated to start a full time job here in Calgary. I happy, yet apprehensive as I am not sure if again this is just another reflection of that which has gotten me here in the first place. I would love to expand on each and every moment that I discover more and more old connections between past events in detail each and everyday, yet I am sure because of the order in which they seem to just pop up in my mind as a result of the way the energy spirals in and out of consciousness/subconsciousness when I have that special energetic moment that people would think I’m totally out of it. It is amazing the clarity of detail associated with each and every revelation dating back now to 1972. Case in point as an example – chance or design ??? Moving to Ottawa from Montreal. Meeting Prime Minister Trudeau in Ottawa on my very first visit to Parliament Hill with my parents. Being allowed no questions asked to make and bring donuts(of course they had to be totally perfect without the slightest blemishes) to the 1981 Montebello summit all by myself for the G7 Summit from our family store in Gatineau. There are so many other connections everywhere it is too difficult to put into some sort of cohesive order to have it make sense for others without having me look like some sort of lunatic. In my own mind as I make more and more connections, I am piecing it all together into 1 linear timeline so that somehow at one point in time it can all make sense for others if I wish to share it. For now, I even seem to amaze myself at how I’ve managed to keep all of the connected events hidden from myself.

Finally, tomorrow I must decide what to do, stay in Calgary or go back to Ottawa with a ticket that my sister has used on my behalf. Given that there was no work in Ottawa with Sentel and I knew that I couldn’t make ends meet on $12/hr putting up High Speed Internet 4G satellite dishes and 4G Wi-Max units on houses and client towers, I had no choice but to leave Kemptville the imminent arrival of my parents from their wintering grounds in Florida. It’s amazing that my own parents could offer me sanctuary in their own home this past winter being homeless after OCH kicked me out of social housing. Yet in the times that I could have used my parents help in the winter months when they were in Florida, nada. No help, no offers, dead silence. Just me and the kids fighting off all the bad guys.

For my new work, let’s hope if I decide to go that way, things work out. Hi Calgary the youth hostel is fully booked. I’ve been offered a temporary stay with someone from work, yet I don’t know him and neither does he know me. How it’s gonna work out who knows. And I have to find a place to stay afterwards – a room in a new city with unknown costs and whatnot. For sure there is an element of excitment, yet after correlation to all the recent events put together, I’m sure that if it were friendlier, it would be visible front & center to claim recognition. While hidden, well let me just say that to date, I find that element suspicious and extremely difficult to trust.

We’ll see what happens next. I’m inclined to stay and see, not just for the leap of faith, but for the sake of maybe now finally realizing that at some point I’m the guy that’s going to have to make a final decision on how all of this turns out given that I’m in charge of that chapter. What I seek more than anything else is peace of mind that both my children are going to be okay. Now as it stands, the chances of everything surviving the fury of my energy is zero. For I am all or nothing – no in between here on that level for me. I burn bridges to make sure that things can’t go back to what they were. It wasn’t intentional a long time ago, but once I understood my subconscious, it made sense to go with the flow. Only lately, I’ve softened that stand. However, my first choice is not to turn back. Hence once past my physical existence, even with understanding how re-incarnation works, there would be totally nothing to come back too. Without a peaceful transition, there can be no re-incarnation – that’s just the way I would have wanted it to begin with… On that note, let me clarify what I have done to myself that for a Dog’s age I could never understand until I came to Calgary. Since last August when I became Aware and Conscious, I was finally able to integrate both my Conscious Mind with that of my Subconscious through Orgasms. That was the vital element I needed to bring about the unity and completion between both. As I have explained in the past, the process stems from several elements that have come together at just the right time, moment and place. All of which would have been impossible otherwise. Once I started to understand the process of that connection, I could start to play with it to see how to make it work out of the box sort of speak. Yin/Yang elements meeting together bringing about higher consciousness using my body. Mind/Body connection complete. Ah now here is the kicker – Spirit!!! Well imagine my surprise here in Calgary when I finally discovered something absolutely mind-boggling. Let me explain that since 1974 I have been attempting all sort of feats to leave my body, short of willing to kill myself – no point and purpose there(pointless and stupid actually + it’s not practical). No matter what the hell I tried(sorry for the pun and expression) I could not leave my body – end of story. The other funny part is that throughout all my past experiences which I’ve mentioned in several other blogs, regardless of an objective or subjective experience I was able to watch myself go through it. All as if in a third person form. Imagine my surprise to actually become conscious of the fact that I’ve actually divided myself into 3 -Body/Mind/Spirit and held together by a thread again sort of speak. I cannot leave my body, because it’s already separated as a safeguard – fail-safe mechanism. Hence extremely extremely hard to corrupt to safeguard what needs to be done. I’ve concluded for the moment that the only way to having a peaceful transition will be to re-integrate all 3 components together with pearls of energy that I’ve again unleashed and spirited out of my body. For the moment again, I am at a lost for words as to what else I could have done or did differently unbeknownst to me to insure success. Forgive the Pi in the Sky expression, but it can still rear up it’s ugly head – change adapts very quickly. Don’t forget the other element of whether I’m first to the finish line or someone else. Either way I know that given energy, something is bound to happen. My job now being Aware & Conscious is to help mitigate it. If you will, please allow for leeway, as while it’s a dream job of asking the world to change on a dime for it’s own sake, it’s not easy being in the shoes and boots of someone who is asking everyone to do it without having and wanting access to the same tools everyone else has or would not hesitate to use against them.

So that said, tomorrow is another day, here on planet earth. The Dance of Life & Energy goes on, if ever so slightly different leading us all on a journey of self discovery towards Consciousness & Awareness.

Stay tuned for as the World Turns tomorrow.